So it's now been two and a bit weeks since I was told I am ALL CLEAR. Obviously I am delighted but it came with very mixed feelings. Questions really - What was all that about? Did I really have cancer? Will it return? How will my body respond to the new drug Thyroxine? Can I take a T3 to go with my Thyroxine to help my body adjust to it's new routine? and on and on...
This week I heard that my other thyroid cancer friend who shared with me what "the prison" was all about after her time in there has been told after her second treatment that she is considered ALL CLEAR too. I have been so happy and didn't stop smiling for some time. Some how it is easier being a friend celebrating the good news rather than being the object of the same good news.
Anyway the main reason for writing tonight is to share a little more of God's gift to me. I received my diagnosis of thyroid cancer from my GP on Tuesday 6th September 2011 - a date one never forgets I suppose. The following Wednesday 14th I went to a retreat day at The Spring, a local place of beauty, calm and tranquillity. There the lady leading us shared her thoughts about us being gardens and that we needed to look after our garden carefully - metaphorically speaking of course! She encouraged us to ask God for what we wanted, actually I think she said what we needed, but I never was very good at making the distinction between the two. Whilst considering this in the quiet time prior to lunch as I was walking through the beautiful gardens, the real ones this time! a poem came to me. My title is what came first, the second part of the title God gave to me, along with the poem. Here it is:-
What I want - The Gift
Lord, I awoke
At last a full nights sleep
A new day
Of rest, of restoration,
You came to the beach and gave me a gift
A golden package
I feel it in my hands
My body is free from the cancer
I know
I am certain
You have a plan
My future in your hands
And there in my notebook it remained, written down but not shared. I found it hard to truly believe and though I did tell various people along the way that I didn't want the second treatment because I believed I was healed, there was still a little niggling doubt.
Now it is true. Even though I doubted, God didn't take the gift away from me - He remained faithful!
Thank you God and thank you all dear friends again for being there for me
xx
