Yes, news is in!

Hi all

So my appointment went ahead despite the pickets at the main gate and even though we were called through quite quickly we then spent a good 15 minutes in the consulting room whilst the doctor was collared by everyone else first!

Anyway she did come and the good news is that the cancer has not spread anywhere else - praise God! But.... there was a big enough uptake of the radioactive iodine in my neck for them to recommend that I have a second treatment in 6 months time just to make sure that all remaining thyroid tissue was destroyed last time and if not will be second time round.

So I was assured that it was all positive and off we went to book the next "prison" date.

So here's the quandary, to have it during the last week of school before may half term or have it during may half term. The deciding factor will be how I think my beauty will best cope with this all again. If I go in during half term her Dad could take her away on holiday and she would not be seeing me anyway and of course can still speak to me whenever she wants. If I go in during the school week, she will have the routine of school and will be able to physically come and see me, if only at a distance. I initially thought half term, going away was the best option, but I am concerned how that might pan out with her getting distraught AND being away from home and not able to see me. So perhaps the school routine would be better. I have thought of asking her, but is this too much to put on such a young one - I am normally led by her wishes but am frightened I might be asking too much of her. Still, I am erring on school routine. I will speak to her Dad and see if we can work it out. I might sound her out too - perhaps?

I didn't really want to do a second go, but there we are. It's ages away and there's plenty more of life to live before then. I believe that my next booked hospital appointment isn't until 16th January 2012! to see Mr Lovely again about my dalek voice - that's good, weeks of normality and no wondering about anything, hooray.

Had a look at a "new" car today. Pretty much a copy of what I have now, darker blue (ming apparently!), but with 80000 miles less on the clock and 4 years younger. All seems good, just needs an MOT first, then the chap is going to get back to me to agree the price, if I am still interested of course!

Back to work next week - first time since July. 4 days left, then it's all over for this job.

What next I wonder? Hmmmmm

Thanks again for all prayers/positive vibes etc. I didn't feel overly anxious about my appointment today and news was good.

Tomorrow busy, busy. Visiting another thyroid friend who is currently on her two week drug withdrawal and diet who has been rather unwell today and in A and E, home now thank goodness and feeling much better. Then onto the crematorium to support the family of my elderly neighbour who died the day I went into hospital. Finally onto pottery for a couple of hours before picking up my beauty from school.

Better get to bed, otherwise I won't be fit for any of it!

Love you all
x

Wow that was a busy week!

It seems like a lifetime ago that I wrote the last blog entry and I was feeling so ill this time last week. Thank goodness I am feeling overall much better today. I have definitely got a cold virus thing but the very ill feelings of last week were connected with the lack of thyroid medication I think. Now I have been back on them for nearly a week I do feel more human.

Last Saturday my beauty had a friend to play for most of the day so I just got on with not a lot and that suited me fine. Sunday my beauty complained of chest pains so I thought I should take her to the walk in clinic and get her looked at. Nearly one hour later and it was confirmed that she had the virus too and the chest pains were nothing more than hurting tissue on her chest wall - better to check than find later she had a chest infection was my thought. Then on to Church as she wanted to see if she had a part in the Christmas production. Yes, still some parts so she was happy. Off to Mum and Dads for our traditional Sunday roast and as ever it was delicious and much appreciated. Played Happy Families with Dads vintage cards and Juliette whooped the a*** off us grown ups much to her delight!

Monday came and off to school for my beauty and pottery for me. It was good to be back and a week earlier that I had expected as by now all my post radioactive contact restrictions had finished. I amputated the hand from the arm and the thumb from the hand to make adjustments and reattached them - looking better bit by bit.

Monday afternoon and a trip to school for me too - to resign! Ahhhhhhhhh that feels better. My recent cancer cloud has come with the most enormous silver lining in the form of a critical illness policy payout of a monthly sum for a considerable number of years. This enables me to pay the bills and buy food etc. and means I do not need to work to fund myself and my beauty. Obviously I can work and do fully intend to, hopefully doing one to one teaching either in mainstream or special school settings.

Tuesday and I met with another lady who is about to have RAI and is quite nervous about it all, just as I was. It is lovely to be able to share what I now know, just as my other thyroid friend shared her experiences with me before I went into the "prison".

Wednesday and a flying visit to a very special friend and her husband near Bournemouth who I hadn't seen for about 18 months. She too has cancer and our voices sounded very similar - two daleks together! I had a lovely time, we reminisced about work (where we all met many years ago) and shared many family stories and pictures - a special day x

Thursday and a flying visit to London with my sister to the British Museum to see the Grayson Perry exhibition. It was brilliant, most thought provoking, interesting, fascinating.... I would highly recommend it and if you go with a friend can get a 2 for 1 voucher from the days out guide if you go on the train. There is also the BBC program on iplayer that tells the background to it all, click here:-
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b016ycnn/Imagine_Winter_2011_Grayson_Perry_and_the_Tomb_of_the_Unknown_Craftsman/

Here he is in one of his "lady" outfits - a true character!

Friday and some talking with my talking lady, brief cup of tea with my PC friend and then lunch in town with another good friend. Most odd just the two of us in the restaurant that apparently isn't really a restaurant anymore but delicious cheap Chinese lunch nevertheless! This then followed by swimming lesson for my beauty and some lengths for me too after about 5 weeks off for me I think. I had forgotten that in my new no thyroid, damaged laryngeal nerve status I get extremely breathless after a couple of lengths and have to have a minute or two of puffing before setting off again - it came as quite a surprise!

My beauty has had a success filled day today. She came out of school with a deputy head teacher award sticker for doing some good writing which she was very proud of and then she was told that she has achieved her stage 5 swimming certificate and can move on to stage 6. She's hardly been in those classes two minutes it seems.

After swimming we alternate between McDonalds or the fish and chip shop. Today was fish and chips - yummy. Got home to find another friend waiting for us in his car so we all shared the chips and had a good feed.

Now back to the reason for writing this blog - that blip! That silly thyroid cancer blip. Since coming out of hospital I have really felt that it is all over, that's it, no more, done, but... I still have to see the radiation consultant to get the results of the whole body scan that I had last week just before I was discharged from hospital. I was warned that I may need a repeat RAI treatment in 6 months but I so do NOT want this and as my recent treatment seemed to go so well sincerely hope that this is a good sign but this is not necessarily the  case. So my biggest request for those praying/having positive vibes etc. is that I do not need another RAI treatment ever again (or any other treatment come to that!). My appointment is this Wednesday 30th November at 9.30am (likely to be a little later in reality) and my sister is going with me. To add a little irritation to the day, my beauty will be off school as all the teachers are on strike that day!

Thank you good and faithful family and friends

xx

The end - no, no, no, wait...

Don't go, well not just yet.

Done the ops, had the treatment, that's it then?

Can't thank everyone enough for all your prayers/good vibes/support. I have known, sensed, experienced God's love through this all and received many rich blessings.

Think I broke the record for the number of visitors to the RBH "prison" in the 48 hours I was there and by the time it came for me to be escorted down to the medical physics department for my whole body scan, there was only one blue over shoe left for me to wear! The scan man had to go searching for more so that I could tread the corridors without radiating the floor!

I didn't read a single book, watch a single DVD or video, didn't write my book, didn't draw any pictures, or even really just "be". I watched telly, kindly funded by my PC friend who took me in and took me home after and chatted to my lovely friends and family who braved the lilac "prison", dutifully wore the blue overshoes and learnt how to close and open the motorised lead lined door whilst I sat on the opposite side of the room. Ah, I did do the local newspaper crossword and 2 sudokus!

I have been home for two days now and feel particularly ill. Not sure exactly why, think I have a nasty virus with cough and perhaps the rest is due to the fact that it is now 2 and a half weeks since I had any of my T3. Tomorrow I can officially start this again but I think I may cheat and start at 11.30pm tonight. I can't bear feeling this ill and just to join me, my beauty has had a high temperature all day too. So please keep us in your prayers as we both get back to full fitness.

Getting back to the second line of this post though, I do feel that it's all over, the cancer I mean and I trust that God has it in hand. I won't know for sure if this is the case until I have been for my follow up appointment on Wednesday 30th November when I get the official word from the results of my whole body scan.

So onwards and upwards! It's the only way. Not sure when I will post again but will put a link on facebook as I have been.

Thank you dedicated family and friends

x

The eagle is flying the nest!

Hey, great news, I am allowed out at 3pm after my whole body scan!

This comes as a great relief after a tricky morning which started by a very upset call from my beauty. She was not feeling well and needed me home right now and her Dad needed to get to work. Well I worked some motivational magic and by the time I checked with my neighbour to see how she had been when she went round there 25 minutes after her call to me there was absolutely no sign of any distress at all - phew.

There was some other news however, that my elderly neighbour had died on Monday - glad I wasn't there to get the emergency call as I was second on the emergency contact list for him. He was a lovely gentleman and had determinedly managed to stay in his home for five years after his wife had died even though he had the most incredible shakes. I guess for him it was good to just pop off like that, he had had a couple of falls recently, I only hope he didn't suffer at all when it finally came. I also trust that God is there with him too even though I don't think he would have professed a faith. I feel pretty sad, perhaps I'll be able to go to his funeral...

Anyway back to my day. Got to pack! Will write again later from the "real" world.

How God answers prayers - hallelujah!!

x

The eagle has landed!

Yes finally I am in "prison" and so far it has been a busy place.

Arrived just before midday with my PC friend, TV and Scart lead only to find the room was still being cleaned! Well better that I suppose. Started to embark on a jigsaw in the day room which of course made the staff nurse arrive and escort me to my room for the week. Firstly to sort out the technology and do some furniture removals which completely confused the physics staff who were expecting to find the TV etc. in it's traditional position but no, Jane has arrived don't you know!

Established that the TV did have sound after all as it played a video OK which was good but no Scart lead between DVD player and TV. No problem, quick unwrap and sorted, bob's your uncle ?!

A lovely young lady doctor came to check my health and gave me the all clear including my chest which I was concerned about as I have a cough currently. I hadn't noticed her youth particularly but my PC friend had and we discussed the whole concept of "old".

A lovely young nurse arrived next to do basic obs and all tickety boo. She seemed quite impressed by my blood pressure.

Physics then arrived with the new scart lead and swapped out mine and said she'd be back with the chief soon to administer the capsule. So just long enough to whisk the TV we had bought in back out to the car which by now had had it's 2 hours on the road and take my last breaths of fresh air for a few days.

So ready for action whenever you are and yes here they are, the two ladies from physics with the radioactive iodine capsule encased in a hefty lead lined pot. Recapped all the rules of engagement in "prison", signed my life away again, gave my PC friend the last safe hug and off she went.

The capsule was lifted out of the pot in a long plastic tube which I had to take and tip the capsule into my mouth. Success, big swig of water and it was done, time 3pm. I was very nervous - how might I feel, what might happen next... I was Geiger counted, from one side of the room to the other, with the 1m piece of string stretched which I held towards my tummy and then my neck, then directly up to my tummy and neck for baseline readings. Thankfully the capsule had safely arrived in my stomach and the needle flew off the end of the scale on the counter.

Do you know it is incredibly quiet in here now, 8pm. Eerie in a way.

Anyway back to the story. All measurements recorded on piece of scrap paper with my hospital sticker slapped in the corner and off the ladies went. Now I was alone and I shut the motorised lead door as instructed.

Thankfully it wasn't long before my sister came, a quick text and she was on her way. Great us all living so close to the hospital, well at times like this. Some tasty chocolate arrived with her - thank you, only the best of course! Today only allowed 20 minutes each and it flies by, she was gone as quick as she came. Whilst she was here I had a call from my beauty - she sounded a bit feeble and was hoping that I might not have had the RAI yet so she could come for a hug- but no, too late by a whisker. So we decided that she would come for a wave and chat from the corridor opposite my room, across a courtyard.

Next to arrive Mum and Dad but only one visitors chair so Mum ventured in first and Dad waited, ding ding, times up and when Mum gets to the door I spot my beauty standing there right outside it. Called a quick hello and told her to go back out to wave from round the corner. Dad declined to come in and all 4 of them went round into the corridor for a series of waves etc. I spoke to my beauty and she seemed OK and we enjoyed some very crazy exchanges of who could do the most silly poses!

Dinner arrived next - as ordered and it was passable, though my jelly had got lost en route - aaah was quite looking forward to that, never mind.

Another fine friend at 6pm with some quality viewing material, Sherlock Holmes! I had been to see it with her at the cinema and absolutely loved it so am excited to watch it again. A call from my PC friend and she said she'll pop back later, in fact that's pretty soon now, so I'd better hurry up.

6.40ish and the physics lady appeared with the Geiger counter to see how it's going. No off the scale this time and I have probably weed some of it out of my system already - hooray! Keeping up those drinks Jane, you know you can do it.

So no ill effects yet, a few queasy moments but nothing bad. Pretty tired actually, but that's a good thing.

Some visitors lined up for tomorrow and plenty of stuff to do if I choose. So far no time to just "be". A little nervous at the thought really but I will try tomorrow and see how it feels.

Thank you for all your prayers - keep going, not long now...

x

P.S. The "prison" is lilac and white - very hospital!

Not long now...

Hi, yes I am still here and doing very well overall.

Had a very pants day on Wednesday. Started off with hospital appointment at 9.30am in the Cancer Centre. Until now all my appointments have been elsewhere in the hospital and I could therefore be in blissful denial. But not here - no, no chance, lots of people with cancer all around me, not good for my state of mind. It was however lovely to see a friendly face in that of a friend I have known since I first arrived in Reading when I was 18 - a long time ago now! He has had cancer for a number of years and is on lot 3 of chemo but in his own words "has had a good few weeks". He of course knew nothing of my situation so we got up to speed and then just got on with our own contemplation. The waiting room is painted blue which is too dark and dingy, it needs perking up in my opinion.

When I finally got called in, often long waits down there, 40 minutes late, the lady I saw was lovely. Went through all the risk factors of the treatment which included an unexpected line regarding the fact that the treatment can cause cancer later in life, 20, 30, 40 years down the line maybe, commonly of the blood! Great just what I needed to hear  - NOT. Anyway I signed my life away and escaped quickly feeling pretty down. Went to get my blood test but huge queue so decided to return later.

The previous day I had been in touch with the lady who works at the college I first went to this January for the start of my pottery experience to arrange glazing etc. of my globe. So all set in the car and off I go up the M4 hoping that getting involved in my current passion may lift my mood. Well finally found out that she was off sick - great, NOT. The man took me down to the glaze room and we found what I wanted but I could tell he wasn't about to let me just get on with it myself so I wrote my name and number on the box my globe was nestled in, stored it safely and left graciously, whilst not feeling it at all.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. When I first started on my LID, I was worried that I wasn't going to get enough food and it was all a big trauma. Now it's just life and fairly straight forward once the cupboard contains the right foods. Sorry that got popped in there, was just cooking some lunch!

Tuesday was the day I finally met up with my fellow thyroid buddy. She is lovely and we exchanged tales of "the man" and his atrocious bedside manner, which was even more appalling for her and the fact that we were both misdiagnosed by him! I feel there may be a letter in there somewhere waiting to be sent. She gave me her top tips, one of them being ear plugs - strange thought I in an isolation room, but no, I am sharing it with a fridge - ah yes, well a quick trip to boots and I am now set up against the noisy brute. Some while later and off she went to meet her family, it was her 30th birthday that day! I saw her again in "that place" the next morning for her follow up appointment, waiting....

Now for those waiting with bated breath who haven't heard else where - I passed my essay with 67%!!!! Pretty ironic really, my highest mark all year on the assignment which I will only get 50% for due to late submission. I could have gone down the extenuating circumstances route previously but chose the easiest option at the time and anyway, it is a pass and that's it. It is finished, done and when the exam board meet next week should be official that I have a Post Graduate Certificate in SENCo (special educational needs coordination).

Friday was a very busy day, my sister popped by to sort out Mum's birthday tea today and arrangements for my beauty next week, I then dashed to see my talking lady and then to University to pick up my essay and put the world to rights and onto a special Christian friend with whom I am journeying.

We had a very happy time and I feel so lifted up in prayer and support it is nearly tangible. I was reflecting on the last couple of years and feeling possibly the most elated about life that I have ever. I sense that I am beginning to be truly rooted with God and that he is at the heart of me and my life constantly. I couldn't stop grinning and realising how awesome God and life with Him is. I asked my friend if we could look at some sort of praise passage from the Bible and she read Psalm 66. It was just so appropriate and even mentions prison!!! Go on, have a read, it is uplifting - if no Bible to hand just type in psalm 66 on the internet and it will pop up.

I am actually looking forward to going into hospital on Monday. It will be good to get this phase done and I feel that it is time and space just to "be" - a gift in a way.

May God bless you even if you think it is all a load of rubbish.

See some of you soon in the "prison"!

x

Nearly 9 down, 5 to go...

Well I am over half way now on the diet and no drugs and it's manageable in the main.

Just taking life steadily and even managed to cycle into town this morning - pretty tired now though. I met up with a fellow thyroid cancer lady who I have met through the Macmillan forum. She too has pretty much exactly the same as me, the same hospital etc. and finished her radioactive iodine treatment just over a week ago. It was great to compare notes and get her top tips! One being the need for ear plugs to blot out the fridge which murmurs all night and the other a great plan for getting friends in to share breakfast with them there by getting the day off to a great start.

So anyone up for coming in with a couple of hot bacon sandwiches or whatever you fancy for breakfast that we could share?

My beauty is getting more worked up by the day and it looks like skype is not really an option with mobile broadband - the connection is just not good enough. I have said that she can come to the hospital and wave to me from outside if she wants and of course she can always call me.  We have been discussing hugging times too when I come out and thinking about how to maximise our close times. I learnt today that it is not the distance from me but the physically not touching me that is important as the radiation is only passed on by exchange of bodily fluids - aaaagh, sweat of course included. Therefore the allotted time period of close contact permitted is 30 minutes in every 8 hours. So if my beauty and I have hugs before school, let's say 8.30am by 4.30pm we will have another notional 30 minutes. No worries! We'll work it out somehow.

Pottery coming on slowly, second hand taking form and everyone at adult education loved the nail, a weighty and impressive piece.

I am venturing to Langley tomorrow (if I feel well enough), back to my first sculpture venue to either glaze my globe and hands or bring back some glaze to do it locally. Very excited, hope it all comes good. The hands on which the globe sits fired well and do support it pretty well (see entry on Monday 17th Oct for pics of hands in the making).

Plans coming together for next weeks incarceration, timetable being prepared ready to enter willing visitors on to and it will be so good to get this phase done.

I sincerely hope that my silly billy sense of humour returns once I can eat normally and have a good dose of thyroxine back in my system. I am missing it!

Right enough of all that, first visitor already pencilled in for Wednesday, no visiting time restrictions, so day time possible too, just 20 minutes on day 1 per person, then 40 minutes from day 2, so if we all get fed up we know it will be over pretty soon!!!!!

Love to you all
x

Hot yoga and no drugs don't mix!

I have discovered that my body is not in a position to do hot yoga currently. I felt very good on Wednesday and thought a bit of physical exercise would be fantastic. I was wrong. In the year that I have been doing hot yoga I have never done so little. Even doing the warm up breathing wore me out! Lesson learnt - payment to hot yoga stopped until normal bodily functions resume, when ever that may be.

Hey - result - I finished my essay and handed it in! If I have managed to achieve 50% then I pass my course and I will have a post graduate certificate in SENCO (special educational needs coordination). This week was a hard determined slog after the pottery delights of Monday but my words for this year which are commitment and dedication paid off. I am not really sure what to do with myself now....

Low iodine diets are pants! Keep seeing and smelling the most delicious food that I can't eat, I will be very appreciative of all these things when I can get back to them.

My beauty and I were invited out for dinner last night - a lovely treat. We all enjoyed a large tasty carvery and apart from one very large yorkshire pudding that probably had dairy in it and certainly had salt in it, I think it was fine. Yummy scrummy (comment just for Snow White!!!).

That's it, I've run out of steam.

Thanks for sticking with me - I am very aware that God is with me in all of this, keep praying etc. He hears it all and keeps us safe.

x

1 down, 13 to go...

Here we are at the end of day 1 of LID. Interesting time had in Waitrose carefully examining many packets for their salt content, dairy content, fish content, food content - oh no that's not right I am allowed to eat still, just a little restricted.

Rice cakes with zero salt are bad - they are like dry sponges that suck up all your saliva and have little taste. Unsalted peanuts are not great either but at least they have some calories. Sesame snaps are sweet and after two packets, too sweet.

Breakfast was the first hurdle. In the planning phase I had imagined having corn flakes with some sort of fruit puree - sounds good. Looked at the packet and found SALT, then looked at all other cereal packets in the cupboard at home to find SALT in all but one, hot oats. So there we are, two weeks of hot oats made with water with crunchy brown sugar - not so bad really.

Now I was quite happy with my dinner. Cooked rice for us both and sausages for my beauty. I then chopped up the remainder of yesterday's roast dinner - left over pork, spuds, carrot, sweetcorn and purple sprouting broccoli. I fried up some mushrooms and sugar snap peas in olive oil and then chucked in the left overs. Looked quite odd but tasted pretty good.

No effects from being off the T3 yet as far as I can tell but something from my weird assortment of food today has made my side of the tummy pain come back - hmm wonder what the culprit is for that?

The most fun I had today was at pottery, here are the results.

I started by joining the individual fingers together,

then created the thumb and palm - extremely exciting!

I also received a phone call telling me the "nail" was ready at the blacksmiths. That too looks fantastic and the man who did it was very interested to ask more about my project. Promised him I would take a photo when it is all finished.

There is more to do on the right hand but I will do this when I add the wrist and forearm.

Just got so excited looking at the pics and thinking about how it may look when finished!!

Well going to hit the sack with a warm happy glow.

Another time

x